Whatever happened to the church taking care of its members. Simply put - where are the "brotheren" when you need them the most?  Seems like the church is so busy "going out to preach the gospel" , seeking to save souls" going out to foriegn lands to bring the words of Jesus to lost souls that something has been left out in the process: what about the needs of those who support and believe in the church - the church members themselves.  I had a brief talk with the man in charge of the "support ministry" at the church we attend. I had contacted him and one of the Associate Pastor's of the church to ask them to contact my husband who was going to be in the hospital and  a rehab center while I went back to be wirh family after the untimely death of a sister. I emailed the Associate Pastor - who said he would visit my husband at 1;00  on a particular day - the support ministry director stated he would visit as well. Although they called my husband, neither one visted him in the hospital( and no one from the church has called or visited him since he's been home). The hospital was around 40 miles away from where the church is - 40 miles - a bit of a ways - huh. Yet the  Senior and Associate minister have traveled all the way to Honduras - to work with a sister church. They traveled  to another country - but -not travel 40 miles to visit my husband - who has been supportive and has attended this church for close to 10 years. Nor have I heard anything from the church offering any condolences for the loss of my sister ( I received a return email from the Associated Pastor after informing him ) On Sundays, I attend church and I've looked around to see people in the congregation crying - I've hugged and comforted  several members of the congregation. A truth is that the members of a church congregation have many, many needs.  And while this may not sound politically correct - I believe the church needs to address the needs of the people who love and support it  - its members - and that this is its number one responsibility and priority.  

Another thing: In my conversation with the Director of the Support Ministry I remarked that I had taken down my facebook page because I was so sick and tired of people ( I posted about the sudden death of my sister ) telling me that they would "pray for me". I admit, I was gulity of doing the very same thing many, many times. It just seemed like the right thing to say. And, I admit, when I said it - it was just a string of words - and sadly - there was not a lot of meaning behind the words - I said them and not much prayer went behind the words. They were just words that I said. With what I just went through with the death of my sister and husband recent surgery -  I learned a powerful lesson - prayer is an action word - Jesus was a man of actions. Oh, he would pray - he gave us the Lord's prayer - yet he didn't just pray for others- he took action and he prayed with those with whom he came in contact with as he took action.I've learned that I need to call, go face to face, visit the home bring a card - bring something and spend time with one in need. I've learned that I need to create an emotional bank account - it goes along the line of sowing and reaping. I want to sow great seeds of love, compassion and understanding so that I may reap the same - and as closed minded as it may sounds - I beleive that "charity begins at home". Finally," I'm going to pray for you " or " I'll keep you in my prayers" will not be something I will say a nuseau . I've learned that a hug and time spend uplifting the spirit does more for the healing process then anything.  I believe this shows the heart of Jesus - a Jesus of action..


When I was young - when a family suffered  a loss or someone was sick or just needed help - the church would serve as a place of refuge. Oh, there was drama in the church - congregations are, of course, made up of people. But, someone from the church would come to check on you - face to face.  There would be hospital visits, food taken to a home of one recovering, a little sunshine club would give you a card to cheer you up - it may sound and look a little corny - and while I may not have appreciated it then - I certainly look back and see the importance of this.  Its as important today as it was back then.

What ever happened to Compassion

I still cannot believe it - our sister Joyce - died..... after over 5 years on dialysis - she gets the call  - a new kidney! Man, she talked about all the times she would do with a new kidney - travel - no more dialysis!  May 25 -  she got it - June 2nd - we had her home coming celebration... how could this have happened.... my heart just calls out.... God - what happened. This was Joyce... how could you bring her to such happiness - only to bring us to such a heart breaking ending.   And - I've learned a painful lesson - I will never make the empty statement " I'll pray for you or  I'll keep you in my prayers"  I know these statements have nothing to do with compassion ... it just what people say - me included. I've put this on Facebook  time and time again - without much thought.   But, the sad truth of the matter is - there's no compassion behind these statements... When I think of Jesus.. I think of the compassion he showed everyone... everyone - AND he didn't just pray - he prays were prays of action - he lived and breathed a WORKING FAITH - Jesus was an action oriented christian - when peple were hurting he comforted - when people was lost - he provided ways for them to find their way - not just thru words - but through actions. My neighbor: I went to her home to just release my sorrow - she understands - and just hugged and loved me - this was the first time I was in a safe place - a place of compassion.  While back east for my sister's home going celebration I went out with some prayer "warriors". We went out to a nursing home to minister to the husband of a member of  the women's church. Well, they sang a song the husband asked for - prayed with one woman praying the "spirit" loudly - 5 minutes later - we left - we were there all of 7 or 8 minutes.  There was no love or compassion. And the saddest thing was this man was so lonely - and wanted company. But these "saints" were so bent on being "Christian" they forgot to bring Jesus  - the compassion of Jesus.  I now understand the importance of ... compassion. Thank you, Marilyn - for showing me compassion - I know to pass it forward.  Faith without works, is dead.

FEAR: FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL

We've all faced it at some point in our lives. The dreaded "F" word: FEAR. Yep, its been a constant companion for me for many years of my life. And, yes, I've missed some amazing opportunities as a result of allowing fear to dictate my response or - in some cases - my non-response - in a variety of situations. But, I've also stepped out and taken risks many,many times as a result of my overcoming and conquering fear. Let me start off by saying this: I've come to understand that fear has gotten a bad rap.

What???!! Ms. Positivity speaking in defense of fear? Well , yeah. Fear in and of itself is not a bad thing. Its fear that has kept me from venturing into circumstances that could harm me or my family. Its fear that alerts me when something doesn't seem to be "quite right". I also believe that fear is the underlying foundation for what we refer to as "intuition" or that "gut feeling". Fear is a catalyst of sorts for me because it shakes up something inside that forces me to take a look at my desires and dreams - things that I know I'm able to achieve - ideas and goals just waiting to manifest. And, if the truth be told, fear is what actually propels me outside my comfort zone. The thought that something or someone could stand in the way of making a dream come true, well, just doesn't sit well with my spirit.

As I look at my life I'm in awe of my accomplishments: from a girl growing up poor ( not in proverty cuz proverty is a mind set ), learning how to live life from parents with less than 6 grade educations, to being told that she wasn't "college material" to owning and operating her own law firm. It is a humbling yet powerful testimony to the fact that "all things are possible to them that believe". I have a confession to make: I do a lot of things even when fear is present. And you know what - all the things that fear tells you will go wrong, that you need to "not rock the boat", that you need to be complacent, that you got it made and you're comfortable now - why change things- all the conversations that go on in your head because of fear all boils down to this: FEAR IS FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL. Fear becomes what we allow it to become - no more - no less. I had to change my mind set when it came to fear laden thoughts. First off, I don't try to stop them. I've just developed ways to control and co - exist with my fears. Yes, fear is still there. I'm kinda glad it is for I see it for what it truly is and what it has to offer. It motivates me to continue to challenge life and to appreciate and be grateful for all that life has to offer. I love this quote: "Do that which you fear and the death of fear is certain". I agree. Fear will attempt to shake and make you doubt yourself. Yet, as my life had shown me - its not the FEAR that stops you , but, rather, your BELIEF of and in that fear. Question: what is your FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL? "For God did not give us a spirit of fear...". Peace. Oh, the pix - its me overcoming my fear of heights at the Grand Canyon - whew!

IN HONOR OF GIRLFRIENDS

This morn I was feeling the need to call someone to hang out with on my morning walk. I wanted, no, needed, some girlfriend time. As I thought about it my phone started humming letting me know I had received a text message. It was from a woman, a neighbor, whom I had met and had known since I moved to this area. We'd talk on and off. I've supported her in some of her " I Love Lucy" schemes and she'd support me when I wanted to go off on some uncharted not well thought out plan. But, all and all, we'd laugh and generally kept one another in check. I was happy to see that she wanted to go walking - even though the temp was at 100 degrees! Well, this turned out to be a BAD idea - I almost passed out from the heat!!!! Whew. Yet, even in this heat, she and I started a conversation about life. We talked about our upbringing, our families, understanding now how what was modeled to us by our family created the persona we see and are today. We compared our our lives and came to know that we both came from similar socio - economic backgrounds. We were in awe of how we went from an environment of struggling economically to a life that our parents could only dream of - nice homes, nice cars, air conditioning, not worry about food - to name a few. How we need to say prays of gratitude each and every day - not just for STUFF, but for all we have in our lives. We talked about our hopes and dreams - our worries and concerns. We talked about what we wanted for ourselves and for our families. We discussed how our mindset about money was formed and strategies we've had to create in order to "make that change" to understand, appreciate and control money and not let money control us. We talked about successes and some "not so successes" , and were able to place them in a proper perspective. She talked me thru my fear of an upcoming unknown . I smiled and talked about how life is about creating - we create it as we go along. We spoke about how we use to have the mindset that we would do something "when the time was right" and that we now realize that the time is right when WE say its right - you just have to just do it. Our 45 min walk turn into a 2 hour "girlfriend" therapy session. It was well worth it, almost heat stroke and all - lol. A male colleague recently told me that August 7th is national girlfriend day. I had not heard this but if its true I started the celebration early. Hug, love, and appreciate a girlfriend today :0). OH, BTW - THE WOMAN SITTING IN THE CHAIR - MY GIRLFRIEND, DIANN. WE WENT TO ELEMENTARY, JR AND HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER. AND, WE'VE BEEN GIRLFRIENDS FOR 45 YEARS.

BE CAREFUL WHAT U SAY: WORDS HURT

I used to belong to a weight loss group where we would repeat the phrase, "I will control my emotions, and not let my emotions control me". I know, from personal experience, there is pure turth in this statement. There are times when emotions get in the way of common sense - where the tongue is contolled by unbridled emotions. The result - hurt feelings, crushed confidence and self esteem. Emotions, left to freely flow, can leave a path of tears, anger, and create a sense of unworthiness and disbelief - just break your heart. And, statements said in the heat of an emotional storm, once made, cannot be undone. Once the damage is done - it just cannot be repaired - even if you want to forgive the person. No matter what - be careful what u say: words have power - words can....hurt. The saying" If you can't say anything nice, dont say anything", rings so true. When in doubt, when at all possible, strive to protect the heart, spirit and soul of another. You reap what you sow - sow good seed.

WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE: PART ONE

I am routinely asked to become a member of various organizations. And, I admit, I would routinely joined them all. I'd go to this meeting or that meeting - giving the appearance of being sooo busy, being actively engaged and showing an interest. But, truth be told, I was not interested in 99.9% of the ideals put forth by these organizations. Actually, when I stopped and examined the mission statements of these organizations, I realized that their statements did not line up with my life mission or purpose nor did these organizations add much substantive value to my life. I found out, like so many others I've encountered in my life, that I was seeking to fill a void - a void of, well, not being comfortable with me and who I was. Chock it up to a lack of self esteem, a feeling of a lack of worth, the need to be accepted and feel appreciated by my "peers" - whatever, it just became part of my daily existence. Yet, it had become a vicious circle, one that I was so deeply entrenched in that I hadn't even notice I was allowing myself to be slowly and systematically drawn into. One day I happened to be talking to a young client about her case. I went over the various program resources available that could assist her in overcoming some obstacles. She looked me in the eye and said, " Do you know any of the people running these programs?". Well, no, I responded. Then she said. " I don't know them, either. If they don't know who I am, how can they help me?" For a moment,I was speechless - it was like - great question. I then asked her questions about what her needs were, if she had a support system that could meet those needs and learned that her church actually had a recovery program and that she knew many of the people involved with the program. After some investigation and a background check I learned that, in fact, the church program was a great fit for her. Her question " if they don't know who I am, how can they help me", was an aha moment for me. It was the catalyst I needed to take a long hard personal look at who and what I had allowed to enter into my daily life and what value these entities brought to my "table of life". That is when the purging began -the moment when I came to realize and understand the "what I knew for sure" realities that actually fueled my life: that I have a hubbie and children who love and protect me - and who I love and protect as well. That my family loves me - even when we don't say it - even with all the drama :0) - we show it. That my friends of 40 plus years have my back and will support and cheer me on, will correct me when I'm wrong and still love me no matter what. That being a "sister" goes beyond race, color, creed or religion. That life for me its not about accumulating more "stuff" or fighting for a title. That God is no respecter of persons - the same love, blessings, favor and forgiveness he has for me is also available to you. That I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me and finally, as a man thinkest, so is he. All of this is what I know for sure. How about you?

The Amazing Body

I have discovered that the body is absolutely amazing - God has given it the ability to heal, to heal itself, even when we aren't aware of damage that has happened in the past. I'm just in awe at how it can save us from unknown, unseen dangers and harm. I've learned not to take it for granted, to take care of it - to honor and appreciate it. God is good.